The entire process is both exciting and painful, from writing the book to finally publishing it.
Writing is great when the words just seem to flow forth in a seemingly endless stream. Unfortunately, that is not always true. Some days I have to force myself to work, to reach into my head and just pull the right words out. In the end, however, it is great to be able to say, ‘I wrote this book.’ It is both a sense of great accomplishment, and relief that the book is finally finished.
Publishing the book feels good, but it’s also frightening. If it is the first book you’ve written you probably think that it will be greeted with tremendous praise. You don’t see how anyone can see it as anything less. It’s possible that it could be as great as you think. But it’s not the norm. On the first book I think most indie writers see our stories as they unfold in our minds not as people actually see them on paper. But we are soon brought down to reality when the critics find faults in our stories that we never knew were there.
But back to ‘Rifts’. I sought to make it the best that I could, but is it enough? It is a complicated story with a lot of characters. Originally it was to be one book, but it kept growing. Now I wonder if it will be seen as a well-constructed, intricately plotted story, or a string of scenes, bad characters, and a confusing story line. My thought is that it is somewhere in between, but it is difficult for me to judge my own work. I have to just wait and see what others think. The waiting is a pain in itself.
When I first started writing I imagined writing as being this wonderful, magical thing. I didn’t envision all the work I would have to be doing. I guess I figured that some publishing giant would pick up my first book and handle the editing, the publishing, and all the promotional work. All I would have to do is sit at my desk a few hours a day and write.
All the complaining aside I still love it. I make a few dollars off my books. I would love to make a lot more, but even if I don’t I can’t see myself quitting. I have to write. I’m addicted.